Transitions in Marriage

This week in class we learned a lot about how to start our marriage off to a good start, and how we can remain unified and completely in love and involved in our spouse's life. President Spencer W. Kimball taught: “Two people coming from different backgrounds learn soon after the ceremony is performed that stark reality must be faced. There is no longer a life of fantasy or of make-believe; we must come out of the clouds and put our feet firmly on the earth. Responsibility must be assumed and new duties must be accepted. Some personal freedoms must be relinquished, and many adjustments, unselfish adjustments, must be made” I think it is really important to learn early on that you and your spouse will see things differently, but that you need to allow them to express themselves, and take into account their ideas.

Mate Selection

Selecting a mate can be a difficult process. There are many different characteristics that people have to have in a spouse. It is important to date someone for at least 3 months before marrying them. Everyone shows their best characteristics when they are first dating, but you need to get to know what the person is really like in different situations.The trend nowadays is to just hang out, but when you do that you don't experience them in all aspects of their life. Jason Schwartzman said, "I don't know the first real thing about the dating game. I don't know how to talk to a specific person and connect. I just think you have to go to person by person and do the best you can with people in general." I agree with him. I don't know if there is a specific plan for success. People need to date many people, and when they get in a relationship with someone, the need to continue to date that person. It is so important for you to get to know someone before you marry them, so that there are no surprises after the wedding. 

Family Roles

The Proclamation clearly states the roles of mothers and fathers, and husbands and wives. We, as LDS people, know that if we are doing what the proclamation the Proclamation says, we are doing what Heavenly father wants. One of my favorite talks is "For Time and All Eternity" by Boyd K. Packer. I would like to share the parable he uses with you:

           Once a man received as his inheritance two keys. The first key, he was told, would open a vault which he must protect at all cost. The second key was to a safe within the vault which contained a priceless treasure. He was to open this safe and freely use the precious things which were stored therein. He was warned that many would seek to rob him of his inheritance. He was promised that if he used the treasure worthily, it would be replenished and never be diminished, not in all eternity. He would be tested. If he used it to benefit others, his own blessings and joy would increase.

In due time, there came a woman into the vault. She, too, held a key. It was noticeably different from the key he held. Her key fit the other lock. It humbled him to learn that he could not obtain his rightful inheritance without her.

           The man went alone to the vault. His first key opened the door. He tried to unlock the treasure with the other key, but he could not, for there were two locks on the safe. His key alone would not open it. No matter how he tried, he could not open it. He was puzzled. He had been given the keys. He knew the treasure was rightfully his. He had obeyed instructions, but he could not open the safe.

They made a covenant that together they would open the treasure and, as instructed, he would watch over the vault and protect it; she would watch over the treasure. She was not concerned that, as guardian of the vault, he held two keys, for his full purpose was to see that she was safe as she watched over that which was most precious to them both. Together they opened the safe and partook of their inheritance. They rejoiced for, as promised, it replenished itself.

With great joy they found that they could pass the treasure on to their children; each could receive a full measure, undiminished to the last generation.

Perhaps some few of their posterity would not find a companion who possessed the complementary key, or one worthy and willing to keep the covenants relating to the treasure. Nevertheless, if they kept the commandments, they would not be denied even the smallest blessing.

Because some tempted them to misuse their treasure, they were careful to teach their children about keys and covenants.

There came, in due time, among their posterity some few who were deceived or jealous or selfish because one was given two keys and another only one. “Why,” the selfish ones reasoned, “cannot the treasure be mine alone to use as I desire?”

Some tried to reshape the key they had been given to resemble the other key. Perhaps, they thought, it would then fit both locks. And so it was that the safe was closed to them. Their reshaped keys were useless, and their inheritance was lost.

Those who received the treasure with gratitude and obeyed the laws concerning it knew joy without bounds through time and all eternity.

Diversity

I found the following quote online, "We all should know that diversity makes for a rich tapestry, and we must understand that all the threads of the tapestry are equal in value no matter what their color." I really liked this quote, because it's true. Every one is different in their own way. No two people are the same. That doesn't mean that they are any less valuable, though. I think it is important to understand and accept diversity, because chances are, you will marry someone who is different from you. If we understand that everyone is raised in different circumstances, and that those circumstances shaped who they are, we will be able to look past the things that seem weird to us, and grow to love and accept them as God's children.

Family Dynamics

I don't know about you, but my family Dynamics are a little different. My mom and dad work together to run the household. When it comes to discipline, my parents have a system. My mom will do the digging, and find out what the kids have done wrong. She then takes that information to my dad. They talk about punishments, and then the kid that is in trouble gets called into my dad's office where mom and dad both confront them. Finally, my dad lays down the final punishment. As far as my siblings go, we have a hard time getting along. I am one of those people where if you don't bug me, I won't bug you, and we can have peace. My little brother and sister, on the other hand, live to annoy. When they aren't screaming at each other, they like to team up and annoy me. I don't understand how they can go from hating each other, to laughing at my frustration in a matter of minutes. I guess the only thing they have in common is the fact that they like to annoy me. I have come to find that being away at college is an even bigger blessing than I thought. Everyone has a different situation, but family is family regardless of how it operates.